So I forgot exactly how it came up in conversation – but apparently I need to work on being “more charming.” Whatever that means. Actually, I think part of my charm is that I am NOT charming in the traditional sense – but it has been brought to my attention that I am in the minority.
At home I am charming (I think:) I sing off key, make up songs and jingles about nonsense, and have a hopeless dance move for everything. I can certainly amuse myself, and a celebrity in my mind. In general, I consider myself a blessed, lucky, joyous, and happy person; I find humor in every situation, especially if it is inappropriate – and think I do OK. Plus, my dogs think I’m absolutely amazing!
When I talk about my art, or sell art, or jewelry, I attempt to be patient, informative, and engaging. It actually comes naturally. I’m not even being fake.
However, when I am out in public, working out or running errands and such – I tend to zone out and tune out; You see, we live in a world of sensory overload and sometimes I just prefer to be left alone, and “turn off” when the world does not really expect something from me. I’m just an introverted and introspective kind of gal. For example, I was at Target the other day and the cashier asks me if I am having a party because I was buying 30-40 place mats on clearance – I smile and tell her “No. I’m using them for something else….not food related.” (word count 10.) I hate to be vague, but who the F cares? “Mind your own business – you nosy hag” is what I really wanted to say – but did not. And the fact that I did not say that out loud, meant that I was actually attempting to be polite, in my own mind. But here is the reality: “I am buying these mismatched plastic placemats because I have several gouache paintings on paper that I need to flatten out in order to have photographed, then place in plastic sleeves, and then mail off to a gallery in Atlanta.” (word count 42 versus 10.) And I can already tell she has no idea what gouache is and why they need to be flattened – which would then involve further verbal engagement, and I don’t really even want to talk about the fact that I’m an artist at the moment. So I prejudge the situation and decide to keep it brief.
But apparently that was rude (I was told.)
The bottom line is that I LOATHE small talk, and I try and avoid it at all costs. And unfortunately there are some people that I encounter weekly that just drone on and on about complete and utter nonsense. I hate it. I don’t give a crap about every trivial detail in peoples lives, and maybe I’m wrong, but I certainly don’t think others need to know every detail about mine either. I have this amazing ability to tune out certain people when they are chatting with me. Like mentally compose a grocery list as they are telling me about their cable/internet problem, or the hole in their roof. It is not that I think I am above the checkout girl at Target – but it is important energy I would rather be using toward something else. That is weird (I know) – but I just hate it. If I pretend like I give a crap, then I am being fake, and then I hate that about myself. See – I think about these things. I just like to keep it real.
When I use to have two cats, I would buy cat food in bulk. I don’t know how many times the checkout person would ask me if I had a bunch of cats. “No, I just don’t have time to go to the grocery store very often” (also another “mind your own business moment.”) Maybe I just have an aversion to checkout girls? Who knows. Something to ponder.
But I “would probably sell more art if I was more charming and friendly.” Because appearantly charming, and pretty people are more successful. Point noted. So, I’m consciously working on being “charming” and friendly this week (I’ll let you know how it goes.) But in the meanwhile, I’m also working on these: