I am currently writing two grants. I hesitate to tell you this because I don’t want to jinx it and actually want to complete the process this year. Writing (and applying for) a grant has been a long time goal I never seem to accomplish. (A) I have a really hard time asking for money. But since this past year has pretty much left me at poverty level – seems like the best time ever. So then (B) I have to come up with actual reasons why I need money. OK I can come up with a few things… and then I have to make them sound really good in the process. Then (C) I need a few references or letters of recommendation. OK. This is the hard part. I HATE hate HATE asking people for favors. Also, I am at this point where I can look at those around me – and I have come to the conclusion that I really don’t have very many art friends. I don’t have many art friends that are at a “letter of recommendation level,” or artists that I actually feel comfortable enough with asking a favor from – for them to take a good chunk out of their day to sit down and write a letter of recommendation for me. Everyone is always so busy, and I am not exactly the greatest friend in the world – worthy of stopping your lucrative work for. Even those artists that I have managed to completely piss off over the years – I don’t think I would have asked them for this favor even if we were on good terms. I am just not that nice of a person for people (other artists) to fall all over themselves and go out of their way for. I realize this. I only have myself to blame.
So, I have to either start being nicer to people (joy), make new art friends (great – I hate new people), get my parents, or boyfriend vouch for me (OK that is really gay), or just write such letters of recommendation for myself and sign Picasso’s, or whomever’s fake name to it (pathetic.) Hummm.
Any suggestions on how to go about asking someone? The sort of have to be credible, and articulate as well. I wonder if there are people/artists you can pay on the Internet that will do this for you (MENTAL NOTE: to create such service if there is not one already). I wonder how long this letter actually has to be. It seems that if you were going to honestly write about how wonderful me/my art was you would at least need 3-4 single spaced pages worth of prose to effectively convey the true essence of my being. Ha.
Living in a small town I feel so isolated. I actually have some really good friends – people that think I am the absolute bomb, they are just not artists.
So I am telling you all this so it will actually force me to rise up to the occasion and complete the grant writing process and actually find a few people to write something nice about me and my art. So wish me luck.