It has been absolutely beautiful here in sunny Florida. I have been able to walk on the beach for the past 4-5 days.
For some reason I find walking on the beach grounding. I feel very small (but alive) while letting my toes flirt with the ocean blue; an ocean so vast and mysterious; so dangerous, yet calming. I have been thinking a lot about change lately. Changes. All the people and negativity I have left behind. All the anger I have let go of. About all the people I have forgotten (both on purpose and accident) – and remembering the few that have been filtered and treasured. The ones that have stuck by me no matter what. I am not really good at maintaining relationships – but there are a few people I will always adore.
So I have been thinking about “change” – and how you have to constantly change to get anywhere. To reinvent. It is funny. As children/teens we spend so much time trying to look and act like everyone else – tying to desperately “fit in” (whatever that might be) when all the people we admire or idealize are who they are by being “different”. You will never get anywhere by being “normal” and blending in. But that being said – there are some people who are so afraid of standing out in the world. Even as adults. I don’t get it. Those kind of people are not for me.
I have people who have followed my art career for a few years. Often people say “your work has really changed” or “I remember when you use to paint (insert subject)…..” Sometimes I am not sure if their comments are meant to be compliments, just statements/observations, or as a notation of inconsistency. As a younger artist (I guess I can say I am a young artist), one would expect that I would change, and grow. Maybe it is just me – but I get tired of doing the same ole thing all the time. If I did not switch it up now and then I would go crazy (OK…. crazy-er). I guess I will never stop trying to find myself. Once I think I am finally there I develop a body of work enough to deem a success I document, then move on again. I am not sure how other people work.
I recently ran into several artists from my past – I always loved their work, and they are well respected in their field. But they have not changed their style, improved upon, or grown as artists in 15 years that I have known them! That seems weird to me. I guess you don’t fix what ain’t broke….. They have spent years developing a trademark style – and these people are making a living as FULL time artists. But somehow I still feel sorry for them.
I keep a quote in my office: “When you are through changing, your are through” – I forgot where it originated from – but Martha Stewart said it in an article I read about her in reference to reinventing herself and her brand after life in prison.
I welcome more change in 2009.