I just finished a bunch of new small work and posted it on my website. See more HERE. I have a love hate relationship with creating small work because sometimes it can take sooo long to complete – and somehow I cannot shrink what I am currently doing – it just does not translate the same way. My larger work seems very thin and loose, and the smalls appear very neurotic. They are fairly intense, painterly, and much thicker. I’m constantly editing until I get it just right. There is a bunch of paint crammed in there per square inch – so you are really getting your monies worth! I have to believe the viewer has a more intimate relationship because one has the opportunity to get up close – I just love how these turned out…
I ran across this the other day and wanted to share:
“Artists are some of the most driven, courageous people on the face of the earth. They deal with more day-to-day rejection in one year than most people do in a lifetime. Every day, artists face the financial challenge of living a freelance lifestyle, the disrespect of people who think they should get real jobs, and their own fear that they’ll never work again. Every day, they have to ignore the possibility that the vision they have dedicated their lives to is a pipe dream. With every role, they stretch themselves, emotionally and physically, risking criticism and judgment. With every passing year, many of them watch as the other people their age achieve the predictable milestones of normal life – the car, the family, the house, the nest egg. Why? Because artists are willing to give their entire lives to a moment – to that line, that laugh, that gesture, or that interpretation that will stir the audience’s soul. Artists are beings who have tasted life’s nectar in that crystal moment when they poured out their creative spirit and touched another’s heart. In that instant, they were as close to magic, God, and perfection as anyone could ever be. And in their own hearts, they know that to dedicate oneself to that moment is worth a thousand lifetimes.” – David Ackert
I don’t even know who that dude is, but it really hit home. The part that struck me most was, “watching people my age succeed, and achieve predictable (financial) milestones…” when I just live day by day. I admit, what I do is pretty adventurous and selfish, and I only have myself to blame when things go wrong. I guess could have chosen a more stable career – but I did not. There were several occasions about many years ago that I could not afford to go to a friend’s wedding, or even visit my family for the holidays. And I was so unorganized and did not really know what in the hell I was doing, and at times, my ex-husband resented me because I did not make enough money.
As of today I have been rejected twice this year so far. I’m not going to cry or anything; I’m actually fairly amazing with rejection. Rejection and adversity helps me to strive for better things, leave my comfort zone, set goals, and push myself harder. I learned over the years to differentiate between personal relationships and business relationships – and when it comes to business you just can’t take things too personally. Sure, sometimes words can sting, and actions will have consequences, but in the end – you just gotta get over it. Sometimes that is easier said than done because (A) I am woman, and am stereotypically already preconditioned to sensitivity, (B) I’m already on crazy meds and (C) there are a bunch of narcissistic, delusional, selfish, psychopath, whaca-doos out there in the world that I have to deal with.
Right now, I have a pit in my stomach – I’m trying to make a few important time sensitive decisions, and I’m worrying about the future even when things are going great right now. People that I rely on have been leaving me hanging this past year. I need a new assistant. I need a million dollars…but I’ll just settle for a new assistant.
On a more upbeat note – I have switched representation in Atlanta! I am now with Pryor Fine Art. If you have never been in there – it is one of the most beautiful galleries I have ever been in (NYC included) and I am so honored to be working with them. This is one of the new paintings I dropped off last weekend (and see more HERE :)
I’m so excited but scared at the same time. This is something that I had been considering for quite some time, but change is scary, especially if the status quo is not so bad. Change is essential to grow as a person and an artist – but that does not mean it is difficult to accept – or that your actions will be without consequences. The only think I can do is keep working and create honest, beautiful, quality art that I am proud of and hope it all works out!